Thursday, March 17, 2011

What's Going on...

Life has felt like it's taken me on a roller coaster ride this month and I've found myself on the verge of tears and often.  Some from stress, some from frustration and some from sheer exhaustion.  
My mom said my cure would be to have life just stop for a good 2-3 weeks to get things "back together" and I agree with her wholeheartedly.  However, we all know that will never happen!

I feel like I am becoming more and more pessimistic and negative the older I get.  Both very ugly traits to have.  So I am thinking tonight of many things I am grateful for or that make my heart happy.
 I'll give you a few today but I am going to post one a day until my birthday.
Then I will just post pictures of cake. 

But to start....
 This sassy lady is my Aunt Jean.  She used to live by us but now lives back east and is ill.  She's been in the hospital since before Christmas and things aren't looking so great.  
I'm grateful that my dad is able to go and see his sister and spend some time with her.  

I am grateful for my friends.  
The ones who drop by bread just because they thought I needed a pick me up, the ones who host fun and silly tv finale parties, the ones who you can make fun of their toes freezing off in 50 degree weather, the ones who go look at houses with you on a moments notice (what kids?!) the ones who will pass things over their fence to you, for finding new friends who have the same interests as you do and pass the "I'll let you go along with me" test (that's you Em) and keeping old friends who laugh with you at pictures of crushes found on FB (Kj & Dani, a JANITOR!!  Really!?
Sometimes I feel very lonely, that I have a lot of acquaintances and not many friends.  And then God has those beautiful women bless me so immensely that I feel ashamed of myself for even thinking that way at all.

I'm grateful that the 7" I just cut off my hair will grow back. I already miss it.
 I'm grateful for my parents and brother.  I love that I live so close to my mom and dad, and I love the 3:00 p.m. phone calls I get from Mike. 
 I'm grateful I grew up in California, smelling the salt air and where the morning fog rolled in from the ocean.  I will always be a California girl, no matter how long I have been gone. 
More tomorrow....wanting to get back in the blogging swing and work on being more positive.  I know that I have been blessed in so many ways...now I just need to acknowledge the good more than the bad.  

13 comments:

Dan said...

I'm grateful for you.

Twice as Nice said...

Don't feel alone. Some times I wish I had an extra couple of weeks to "get it together"! I think sometimes we feel like we need to do it all and it has to be done all at once. I use to make myself a list in my mind and beat myself up if I didn't get it all done. Now I just give myself small goals that are achievable. I think as women we think we have to do it all ourselves. Ask for some help. I am sure your hubby and children would love to help. Most importantly take some time for YOU!

Kristen said...

I may be one of those " acquaintances" because I wear the lable of a mother and wife far more than a friend. I get very wrapped up in mothering and wifing ( I know that is not a word) and often don't make friendship a priority.

That said... I love you. I appreciate your talents and your willingness to make everything you do special. You are an amazing woman!

Can I move into your friend category with the understanding that I am not a very good one right now in my life? Ha ha ha... Just kidding, I will be a better one!

Lots of love.... "the other Kristen"

Emily said...

Oh Kristen you are seriously the best. It's been so fun getting to know you and to find someone who loves the things I love just as much as I do. The last couple months have been a blast. If I ever need a laugh all I need to do is have a talk with you, never fails the laughs will come. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're an amazing friend with some serious talents. Love ya tonz!!

Melinda said...

I've been having that kind of month too! Just remember you are fabulous! And maybe one day we'll both move back to Cali near the coast in cute houses decorated in beach cottage style :) One can dream right?

Nae said...

Kristen, you are a seriously fun lady with some serious talents. I'm not sure which category I fall into for you, but I'll take either! I too have had times in my life where it is harder to be positive, but in my experience, doing a "grateful" list is just the trick. I also think there is a big difference between having a bad day, or needing to vent, and being negative or a pessimist. Anyways, I hope life slows down and gets brighter for you, I think you're great!

kjtroxel said...

I love you and am ever grateful I found my BFF in the third grade and haven't let her go!!!

(but I hear you and totally have been where you have been)

great idea to have a grateful list!

kjtroxel said...

P.S. I am super in love with that family photo! You mom is beautiful now and WOW! what a hottie then. So fun to see my other mom with her precious babies at her feet!

Desiree said...

Oh, I know exactly which category I fall into and I am grateful to be important enough to be mentioned!!! I sure appreciate you, your example, your humor, your encouragement and your friendship! Just think if I had never met you? My life would be way less exciting and I probably wouldn't have weighed in today...
I sure love ya Kristen!

Kari said...

Just wanted to say....I love you...thanks for being you!

Olson's said...

Speaking of being positive....you are one of the brightest, most creative, well-mannered ladies I know, and I am glad that you are my friend!

I went and looked at your dream house the other day....HELLO! I loved the colors, finish work and simplicity of it all....it reminded me of something you would live in :)

Hope you're feeling more like yourself soon!

Denise said...

Kristen,

There will always mom meltdowns. I remember that I got really depressed and my mom came to stay with me for about 2 weeks. Be gentle with yourself. I love that you posted a picture of Aunt Jena. I am glad that your dad is with here. I know that my dad is headed that way as soon as he gets my mom home. I love the picture of your mom. She is so beautiful inside and out. I miss her living in Newbury Park. You are a wonderful mommy. Be kind to yourself., Love, Denise

Nic said...

So glad I read this! I feel the same way sometimes....seems more lately....